Clod Computing Challenges The Cloud

Cloud computing is making a name for itself by challenging the cost of running traditional corporate data centers. But just as the cloud is reaching critical mass, a new challenger appears with an even lower cost model. They call it clod computing.

Just what is the “clod” and why is it cheaper? The business model is based on reducing infrastructure cost by getting computing resources for free. As explained by startup vendor Chip-On-A-Shingle, “A clod is simply a cluster of unwanted computers and peripherals all hooked together to create some really awesome processing.”

It’s true that there is a surplus of computers headed for landfills simply because they are no longer the new shiny thing. Most computers go to their graves perfectly functional. They’ve simply gotten too slow due to lack of memory or processing power to keep up with the latest software applications. Some are tossed for simple ugliness as UV exposure turns their once cream colored cases a nasty shade of orange.

“What gave me the idea,” said J. Unkmann, a pioneer in the new technology of OaaP (Obsolescence as a Platform), “was when I saw all these computers sitting out by the curb on trash day. It seemed like every other house had a tower or a monitor. They didn’t even bother putting them in the recycling bins. I got to thinking about all that processing power going to waste and decided to pick up a few and see what I could do with them.”

Unkmann’s breakthrough was in networking dozens, then hundreds, of old computer CPUs and selling the processing capability as a service. As he points out, “Any old 486 may not have much throughput, but when you have hundreds or thousands of cores you’ve got yourself a super-computer. I don’t dare take my array out of the country. The government has laws against exporting this advanced technology.”

Instead, Unkmann and a legion of similar visionaries are offering their services to anyone from caffeinated gamers to corporate IT departments. Unkmann’s below-ground data center has wooden racks filled from floor to ceiling with everything from old IBM PCs to brightly colored iMacs. The primary cost of the operation is electricity. “Heat could also be a problem, he remarked, but we live up North so it’s cold most of the time. Security isn’t much of a issue, either. Mom’s got a mean dog upstairs and the storm cellar door has been rusted shut for years.”

In addition to processor cycles, Chip-On-A-Shingle offers scalable storage as a service. “You can see how extensive our disk array is,” noted Unkmann pointing at a shelf stacked high with hard drives. “Some of these are only 40 GB or so, but people are throwing out computers with 250 GB drives these days. Just call up and tell me how many you want and I’ll plug ‘em in.”

Costs for clod computing are running considerably lower than those quoted by well known cloud service providers. J. Unkmann has flexible financing available that includes anything from PayPal contributions to bartering arrangements. “I’m most interested in PoD (Pizza on Demand),” he commented.

Connectivity arrangement are flexible, too. “We can wire up just about anything you want. Dial-up works just fine if you are on a tight budget. I’ve got maybe a thousand modem cards in a box over there. We can also go wireless. Just send me a time card for my prepaid phone.”

Major carriers and cloud service providers have been loath to embrace clod computing so far. But as the recession drags on, breakthrough ideas such as this may come to fill a very low end niche in the marketplace, until the economy picks up... hopefully by next April 1.

Economic Woes Drive Rural Telegraphy Initiative

The ongoing deterioration in economic activity has caused a complete rethinking about how to bring digital communications to rural areas. It's no secret that Internet access and even cell phone service is hard to come by out in the boonies. That's what the rural broadband initiative in the economic stimulus plan was designed to correct. But in a cruel twist of fate, it's been discovered that the monies intended for trenching fiber optic cable down country lanes has instead been appropriated by city hedge fund managers.

As one of the fund managers, Robb M. Blihnd, explained: "The need for hedges to separate adjoining properties in densely packed urban and suburban landscapes is critical to public safety. People are getting testy and going after their neighbors over little things like barking dogs, smoke from barbecue cookouts and children straying into adjacent properties. We need the money for planting hedges to clearly identify property boundaries and provide a natural barrier against intrusions. The demand for hedge fund financing is clearly more critical in metro areas than out in the country where the population is more dispersed. That and our executive bonuses, of course."

The dearth of funding has sparked renewed interest in an alternative technology well suited to rural communications. With minimal construction costs and low bandwidth requirements, telegraphy may the answer to doing "something" for the long ignored rural constituency without Congress having to come up with additional funding. Samuel F. B. Morse's telegraph was America's first telecommunication technology and designed to work in the frontier environment of the 19th century. Sometimes referred to as the "The Victorian Internet", there are eerie parallels to today's messaging technology. Users known as "telegraphers" networked across the country to exchange messages at will. Simple battery power energized both transmission and reception, much the way cell phones use batteries today.

Jon Dehre is owner of the first TSP or Telegraph Service Provider to apply for federal funding under the massively scaled down Rural Telegraphy Initiative. According to Jon: "Wiring for a telegraph system is easy out in the country. Most farms have barbed wire fencing that works great as a conductor to carry the signal for miles. Of course, you have to watch out for those electrified fences. We zapped a few operators before we learned to test for high voltage by throwing a wet tarp on the wires. We go through tarps pretty fast, but there seems to be plenty of tarp financing available."

The resuscitated telegraph technology should have a special appeal to younger users who are addicted to texting. Only a single finger is needed to tap out the dots and dashes of the Morse Code using a standard telegraph key. Power users can upgrade to a semi-automatic keyer, also known as a "bug." These require the use of two fingers, but leave one hand completely free to act as an unpowered "green" printer for writing down incoming messages.

Telegraphy solutions may also be appropriate for some businesses with little technology need and even lower expectations. For those that require a true broadband solution, it should be noted that T1 lines are available at reasonable rates through Sheep For T1, a website designed to support businesses located beyond metropolitan areas. In addition, satellite broadband is available for residential users in nearly all USA locations. No fooling.